Sometimes, office circumstances may be contrary to getting your actual work done, through no fault of your own. You still may be left having to clean up the mess. Kim* and Larry* found themselves in this type of situation.

Kim* had been a marketing assistant and now was in charge of the marketing department of three where she worked, overseeing a variety of marketing efforts.  For many items, her assistant would send drafts of press releases and copy her on what was to be ultimately sent.  Often, various items had to be reviewed by members of other internal departments first, for accuracy, legality, etc.

Another staff member in particular had worked in multiple departments in the company – including the marketing department several years ago – and had bounced from HR to several others, most recently landing in an executive’s office, working as his assistant.

The newly appointed executive assistant walked into Kim’s department, livid, demanding to know, “What’s the meaning of this?” referring to the most recent email sent from the Marketing Department.  She went on to complain about its “demanding tone” that she didn’t care for, followed by the accusation that she “. . . knew that Melody is too sweet to have written something like that!”

“So, it must have some from someone as awful and ugly as me?  Is that what you’re saying?!” Kim asked her.  She was very insulted.

“I still didn’t even know what she was talking about,” Kim said, “And insisted that she explain herself.”

It turned out that she had gotten upset because a press release was sent to her, asking for edits or approval “asap.”

“This is standard language, and there was nothing offensive in the email,” Kim explained.  She immediately asked for an appointment with the woman’s latest supervisor.

When she met with him the next day, his first question to her was, “Did you attempt to speak with her about this problem first?”

“I have to say that I admired him for that,” Kim said.  I told him that I didn’t, but that I thought he’d understand once I told him what had happened.

“After I told him about her ‘tantrum’ – in front of my staff – and showed him the email, he agreed that there was nothing offensive in it, and that her behavior was unacceptable.  He assured me that he would speak to her about it that day.”

Confrontation doesn’t come easily for Kim, but she felt good about being able to Fix It! in this manner.  Most important to her was that she defended her department from future attacks, but she was also grateful that there would be no further character assaults, such as the obvious one that had been perpetrated.

A week later, a notice was sent around that the woman was leaving the company altogether.  While this wasn’t the outcome Kim had been seeking, she admits she’s not sorry to see her go.  It was no secret that multiple departments had been relieved each time she moved on to a different one.

Larry* had been looking for work for some time after graduation, and was pleased when he got hired by a nonprofit membership organization.  Although the position appeared to be two jobs in one – with essentially two bosses – he knew that people in the nonprofit world did more work than those in the corporate world.  And, with the economy the way it is, budgets are stretched even further nowadays.  (Frankly, he was just glad to have a position!)

After he had been in the job for the first three or four months, he had hoped that the really long hours would slow down, at least a bit.  After all, in the first several months, a steep learning curve is to be expected, so longer hours could easily go with that.  Now that he’d been there six months – and longer – though, the long hours didn’t appear to be slowing down even a little bit.

The conflicts seemed to be growing, too.  Having two managers was a very difficult juggling act, he discovered.  This nonprofit appeared to be set up so that the goals for the Membership Director and Development Director were often in conflict with one another, so it wasn’t just a matter of time spent working for each, but really, an allocation of resources as well.

Which list was going to be used to mail the next appeal to?  If each of them had their way, many people were going to get asked for money multiple times.  Neither director seemed to care, as long as the funds went into their accounts, ultimately.  Only Larry seemed to notice – or care – that the organization would ultimately end up offending a great many of their constituents with way too many appeals.

“I made the mistake of telling them both about the total calendar, which resulted in them having a HUGE fight.  Afterward, when they only pretended to reach a resolution, each of them came to me separately – privately – and informed me that I was to secretly send an additional appeal on behalf of their department . . . without telling the other!”

“That’s when I decided to Forget It!  Clearly, each of them cared more about their own personal vendettas, rather than doing a good job overall for the organization.  I could see further down the line, too, where I could easily end up getting the blame for the entire thing!”

We began Larry’s job search immediately.  Although it took him a while to find something, he did have a year’s history working in the field by then.  In the meantime, I advised him to cover his liability by sending each director various “clarification questions” – via email –  regarding the secret mailings, so that he’d have documentation showing that they had each authorized them, should he need proof.

Do you have a Fix It or Forget It? story to share?  Send it to me, and it might help others.  Identifying features will be altered prior to publishing.

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Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
—  Rita Mae Brown

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Kraig* and Lorraine* discover the company burns through employees

Idalee* and Janet* realize the importance of getting along in the workplace

Greg* and Hilda* show that one’s environment is meaningful

Job interviewing can be stressful enough by itself, but what happens when you and a friend wind up competing for the same position? How do you maintain the friendship during and after? See what Imelda* and Josie* did.

Both Imelda and Josie were clients of mine who not only had me design their resumes, but sought my career counseling services. They also knew one another professionally for some time and had become friends over the years.

A particular position had been advertised recently that they each wanted to apply for, and they knew that the competition would be fierce, so they wanted to be especially prepared. They both wanted to hire me to coach them, knowing the other would also be using my services to try to get the position as well.

This was an unusual situation – and an unusual couple of friends – that I encountered.

The first thing that I instructed each of them to do was to make absolutely certain that nobody in the hiring process knew that they knew the other was applying, or that they were doing this “as friends.” Nothing turns off an HR director faster than applicants who come in pairs, because it’s an immediate sign of weakness — that someone needs a prop just to make it to an interview.

I also asked each of them to seriously consider how they were going to feel if the other one got the job when it was all over. Perhaps it would be better to take a hiatus from their friendship during the interview process, so they wouldn’t have to Fix It later?

Each of them laughed at my suggestion and told me (separately) that they had already agreed that if one of them got the job, she would treat the other one to dinner out on the town.

Nevertheless, I assured them both that my sessions with each of them would remain confidential. Whatever I learned from one of them during the process, I wouldn’t be sharing with the other, and vice versa.

As it turned out, I didn’t have to reassure anyone, as both Imelda and Josie freely shared interview information with one another! I spent time coaching each of them on how to prepare for the recruiter they dealt with, which got them both through the phone interview and first and second face-to-face interviews.

Imelda was scheduled earlier than Josie for the first face to face interview, and filled her in on everything that happened, so that she was very prepared for it – including the need to leave early enough so she wouldn’t have to speed! (Imelda got a ticket on her way to the interview!)

Josie reciprocated when she had the second interview before Imelda, leaving her knowing what to expect before she walked in to meet with the interviewers, for the most part.

After the second interview, they were both notified that they had made it into the final three candidates and would be called back for the third and final interview in the next couple of weeks! They were both thrilled!

A couple of weeks went by, however, and the recruiter mentioned reason after reason why there would be delays in scheduling the final interview . . . among the remaining four candidates.

Four? This seemed odd. Imelda and Josie were grateful that they could confirm with someone else that they had initially been told there were three remaining candidates. “Ok, now I know I’m not crazy,” Imelda said. “You heard it, too. They just changed it on us, and figured we didn’t notice?”

The entire tone of the final interview seemed to change, they both also noticed. Everyone seemed polite enough, but more rote, as though they were on “auto pilot,” Josie recounted.

It turned out that neither Imelda nor Josie were hired, but politely thanked for their time and effort – which ended up being considerable!

Several weeks later, they checked the organization’s website to see who did get the position, and it turned out to be someone who already worked at the organization!

“So much for the identity of the mystery fourth,” said Josie. “I suppose they’ll be listing his position soon.”

“If the recruiter contacts us for that position,” Imelda said, “He can Forget It!  The organization is clearly poorly managed. If they wanted to hire from within, why spend a fortune on a recruiter and the better part of a year to do so?”

Do you have a Fix It or Forget It? story to share? Send it to me, and it might help others. Identifying features will be altered prior to publishing.

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Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
— Rita Mae Brown

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(When) Should I Start Looking Elsewhere?

Arlene* and Burt* Face Challenging Interviews

Wilma* and Zoe* Downplay Their Skills For Interviews

A most difficult situation in the workplace is when management has essentially pitted employees against one another, whether consciously or not.  Teamwork then becomes nearly impossible.  See what Gertrude* and Hector* did.

Gertrude* noticed that, although everyone was asked to submit their items ahead of time for an agenda that was printed up for monthly staff meetings, her manager never paid attention to it, and instead went around the room, asking this person, then that person for his or her report.

He appeared to do this either in the order of people he considered to have the most important things to say, or perhaps the people he liked the best – Gertrude couldn’t decided which.  What she noticed, though, was that she was nearly always last, either way.  It almost reminded her of getting chosen for teams back in school.

Sometimes, meetings would run long, due to someone’s report taking a great deal of time, and the manager would notice the time and say, “Well, the rest of you . . . email me what you have.  I have to get to another meeting.”

Gertrude asked me for advice on how she could be taken more seriously – or at least be noticed, since she felt essentially invisible, particularly at the monthly meetings.

I shared an article with her that discusses the importance of body language, stance, eye contact, etc. that conveys a great deal about yourself while in such meetings.  We say so much without realizing it through nonverbal communication, and Gertrude may not realize what messages she’s sending.

Another way I suggested that she might move closer to “the front of the line” would be by bringing handouts to the meeting to accompany her report, when appropriate.  The next time Gertrude had relevant visual aids, she printed up enough copies for everyone and began passing them out as the staff meeting started.

She was very pleased to hear the manager say, “So, what are we looking at, Gertrude?” which gave her the opening she needed!  These few techniques allowed her to Fix It! and improved her visibility during staff meetings.

“Of course,” Gertrude said, “I don’t always get to go first.  But I’m not always last anymore, either.  I can live with that.”

Hector* worked in development at a membership organization and was frustrated at how the Executive Director managed the organization.

During their meetings, he would appear to stage competitions between the development and membership departments, which led to them sharing less information with one another over time.  This made things more difficult, since they were already working with two different databases, and needed more cooperation, not less.

In addition, the ED frequently solicited the staff for input and feedback on how to conduct internal and external operations.  However, time and time again, people noticed that he simply smiled and voiced his appreciation for the suggestions . . . while conducting business as he already planned, disregarding all employee input.

After this “policy” became apparent, the feedback dwindled to become almost non-existent, which visibly angered the Executive Director, who then denounced the staff as “unappreciative.”

Hector noticed that, actually, there was a great deal of feedback – after such meetings, usually in the break rooms, on the smoking balcony, etc.

Seeing the building animosity on both sides – with it only escalating – Hector decided to Forget It! and we started searching for another position for him.  Clearly, the internal struggles at his organization were taking over, and raising money for the mission or focusing on the constituents, benefactors, etc., was taking a back seat.

“I’m not interested in ‘preparing for battle’ everyday when I come to work,” Hector said.  “I want to do my job and do it well, but this is too much.”

Do you have a Fix It or Forget It? story to share?  Send it to me, and it might help others.  Identifying features will be altered prior to publishing.

___________________________________________________________________________________
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
—  Rita Mae Brown

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Michael* and Norma* work where nothing is good enough

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Greg* and Hilda* need a good work environment

Research has shown that when women don’t negotiate (enough, if at all) for their first salary, they may never catch up to their male counterparts, pay-wise.  There are other lessons to learn on first jobs, as well, however.

I’ve chosen one of my favorite quotations to be the closing statement to this blog deliberately:

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

No matter where one is in her career, there are always things to be learned.  It helps if we have friends and mentors to guide us along the way, but, unfortunately, many lessons will be learned the hard way: from making mistakes.  Of course, these will be remembered best of all – and less likely to be repeated in the future.

I’ve been asking clients and other associates to share tales of lessons learned during their positions early on in their careers . . . and whether the memorable lesson was harsh enough to be a Fix It! or a Forget It! at the time.

Shortly after Emily* was hired in her entry level public relations position, she was sent out of town to a three day training conference, to learn more about her craft and how others in her company related to the mission at the local, regional and national level.  She was glad that the annual national conference was scheduled so soon after she was hired, allowing her to meet many other people in the company that she would otherwise only talk to on the phone or via email the rest of the year.

Being so new, Emily hadn’t realized until after returning to the office that she should have saved receipts from her travels during the conference for submission to be reimbursed for her expenses.

“I realize that this was naïve of me in retrospect,” Emily recounts, “But when I went to the Regional Manager and explained my predicament, his response was basically, ‘No receipts, no reimbursement.  Too bad.’”

Emily was stunned and more than a little freaked out, since, as a new college graduate with loans, she could not afford to pay for the entire three days herself.

“Once I had a chance to think it over,” Emily explained, “I was able to Fix It! – at least a little.”  Emily realized that she had put most of her expenses on credit card, and could retrieve those items from her statement online.

“I did lose other funds I was entitled, to, though,” Emily said.  “Not only did I pay cash for some smaller items, but I went out to dinner with some new friends and we pooled our cash while one person paid on her card.  That’s when I realized that I was being treated poorly.  I knew the others at my table hadn’t each gotten receipts for their cash payments.  This realization compelled me to keep in touch with the friends I made, and I got great advice from many of them over the next few years in that job.  (I clearly wasn’t going to get help from my Regional Manager!)”

Faith* began as an assistant in hotel management and was a very diligent worker.  She recalls having a manager who seemed to enjoy throwing his weight around, demonstrating his power over the employees and publicly criticizing them for various perceived “infractions,” whether important or not.

The resulting atmosphere was one where the employees were mostly bonded against the manager, but also some smaller groups became pitted against one another, as they attempted to curry favor with the manager.  Many employees engaged in a great deal of gossip, speculating about who would be the next person to be “in trouble,” or even about such topics as which employees were dating, who took whose lunch from the company fridge, etc.

Faith tried to navigate these choppy waters by avoiding both the manager and the rumor mills the best she could and simply do her job.  Originally, she thought she would have liked to socialize at work or have friends, but given the circumstances, she thought better.

One employee in particular began as her co-worker, but later was promoted to be an assistant manager, much to her surprise.  She found him to be quite lazy and the type of person who wouldn’t finish a job if nobody was looking.  He appeared to have conned the manager, however . . . at least temporarily.

After a few months, the co-worker-assistant-manager was demoted.  Apparently, he couldn’t maintain his façade, and the manager realized he wasn’t management material.  Several more weeks passed, and the manager fired him outright.

Although Faith was annoyed that she hadn’t been considered as assistant management material during this time, mostly she was glad to have escaped the manager’s public wrath:  the demotion and subsequent firing was a loud, public ordeal.

Eventually, however, each employee ended up getting on the manager’s bad side and received a chewing out in public – just because.

The day came when it was Faith’s turn, and she gritted her teeth, waiting for it to be over, but in the middle of being chastised for a minor infraction, her “disciplinary session” turned unexpectedly personal.

Apparently, the recently fired co-worker had led everyone to believe that she and he were romantically involved – and the rumor mill did the rest!

The manager kept referring to “her recently departed boyfriend” while disciplining her, and further investigation uncovered the possibility that his efforts to associate with her may have helped him get the promotion in the first place!

Now that he was gone, it appeared to be impossible to quash or dispel any rumors of their so-called involvement, and Faith was so angry at the whole situation, she decided to Forget It! and resigned from the position.  It was the last straw for her.

“I did learn that you shouldn’t decide to isolate yourself entirely from the workplace, however,” Faith said.  “If I hadn’t done that, I would have known more about what was happening and not been completely blindsided.”

What are some of the “keeper” lessons that you learned from your first job(s)?  Do you have a Fix It or Forget It? story to share?  Send it to me, and it might help others.  Identifying features will be altered prior to publishing.
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Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
—  Rita Mae Brown

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Nell* and Otis* Realize How Costly Office Politics Can Be

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Noah* and Odelia* Learn the Importance of Networking

Culturally, women are conditioned to be agreeable and cooperative. That, combined with those who feel the need to help a part of society, yields an abundance of women in nonprofit with a calling to serve in a congenial way.

While this is certainly good for society, it’s not always good for the agreeable – and often, non-confrontational – women, particularly when it comes to their careers.  Often, all the traits that make such women the ideal candidate to work in the nonprofit arena actually work against them when it comes time to lobby on their own behalf.  They frequently learn – too late – that they have been passed over for promotions, raises, or generally left out of conversations that they should have been consulted on.

It has become more important now than ever before, with such a competitive job market, that women speak up and speak out at every opportunity – whether currently employed, or actively job hunting – so that their voices and ideas are heard by management and others on a regular basis.

Bonnie* had discussed her current work situation, where she felt that the director had used the economy as an excuse to whittle down everyone’s position essentially to being his serfs.  Bit by bit over the last couple of years, he had made everyone feel that if they didn’t comply with his latest “cost cutting” idea, they might be next on the chopping block.  This included petty things, such as his removing the office refrigerator and microwave, to “save electricity.”  (Bonnie did notice that, although all of the women in the office now had to modify the types of lunches they brought to eat, the director still managed to treat himself to eating lunch out on a daily basis.)

When Bonnie decided to Forget It! we worked on finding her another position, but kept in mind the dynamics which led to the situation she ultimately found herself in.  She wanted to make certain to define what type of treatment she would – and would not – tolerate right from the beginning.  I explained to her that a great many parameters are set in the first few weeks of employment, when you make your first impression.  Her boss and the other employees would see what they could expect from her during this initial phase.

While it’s important to be eager to learn and get along with others, of course, you still don’t want to project yourself as a doormat, either.  If, for example, Bonnie had given the idea that she would be willing to do everyone’s filing (whether it was her job or not), all those on staff would immediately be thrilled to have her do it for them . . . and anything else they could delegate to her.

When Bonnie began her new position, she had difficulty getting her business cards printed in the first couple of weeks.  The position that usually handles the task was vacant, and the procedure in his absence was arduous.  She learned that the last person who went through the procedure not only waited a long time, but her cards weren’t right.

Bonnie decided this would be one way to define herself.  She took action and had her own cards printed and simply submitted the receipt afterward.  Her director was surprised at first, but then she explained why, and he signed the expense report.  Bonnie was pleased with her first step toward defining her new self as someone who wouldn’t sit around and wait for second best.

Caitlin* defines herself as a “very shy person,” but came to me for assistance, because she felt that she was “invisible” in her organization.   She wanted to work on her networking and socialization skills, but didn’t know where to begin.

“I don’t feel as though I can just barge in on the already established social groups at the office and ask to join them for lunch,” Caitlin says.  “They’ve been having lunch together for a couple of years now.  Nobody has ever invited me along.  It’s like they don’t see me, even though I’m right there.”

Since Caitlin didn’t feel comfortable encroaching upon what she already felt was “established territory,” I suggested we Fix It! by trying some new territory, and had her join a local chapter of her professional society.  Not only was it good to work on her skills with a new group of people, but, I explained, it’s always best to extend your professional group beyond your immediate workplace, anyway.

One excellent way for someone shy to mingle at professional functions is for them to volunteer to work the function, and Caitlin signed up to help at a few upcoming events.  This provides several benefits.  Not only did she get the lay of the land beforehand and feel more at ease, but if she ever felt awkward at any time while talking, she could always excuse herself, since she had “something to do,” because she was working the event.

In addition, the leaders of the professional society got to know Caitlin in an informal setting and became appreciative of her hard work.  I had given her advice on several talking points to make about herself, as well as targeted questions to ask of others when chatting at these events, and it was working well.

After Caitlin had worked at several of these events and was becoming more comfortable speaking with people she’d recently met, I had planned on having her apply these techniques back at her workplace, so she wouldn’t feel as isolated.  It turned out, though, that it became unnecessary.  Caitlin made several good contacts with her new networking friends, and one of them offered her a better job, which she accepted!

Now, Caitlin works in an atmosphere that is more inviting, and she no longer feels “invisible.”  She also makes a point to participate more actively, to ensure that she’s seen, too.

Do you have a Fix It or Forget It? story to share?  Send it to me, and it might help others.  Identifying features will be altered prior to publishing.

___________________________________________________________________________________
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
—  Rita Mae Brown

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