Bliou Enterprises


Posts Tagged ‘management’

Fix It Or Forget It?

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Sometimes your workplace situation isn’t quite what it appears to be.  When that happens, how do you go about discovering what lies beneath the surface?  Should you Fix It or Forget It?  See what Leonard* and Maxine* did.

When Leonard* came to me, he was frustrated about his job.  Although he liked it, he was contemplating looking for a new one, because he felt that he should be further along than he was, and if things weren’t going to progress any more than they were where he currently was, perhaps it was time to look elsewhere.

This was going to take further investigation, I could see.  Sometimes employers do take advantage.  On the other hand, some employees expect nearly an immediate payoff.

I learned that Leonard had been working at his company for several years, actually.  One thing in particular that made him reach this conclusion recently was that someone else in his department had recently been promoted – a coworker – and she arrived more than a year after he did.

“I don’t mean to sound petty,” Leonard explained.  “It’s not that I don’t think she deserves it.  She does.  But I certainly do, too.”  Leonard and his coworker actually get along quite nicely, and he had congratulated her.

“I don’t understand how I suddenly became overlooked and invisible, though,” Leonard lamented.  “I work at least as hard.  If that doesn’t count for anything, why should I stay?”

Since Leonard said he got along well with his (former) co-worker who had been promoted, I suggested that he tactfully approach her and ask for her input on how to better impress their manager.  This seemed to be a good place to start, and if it had very little to do with the quality of work being done, then it more likely had to do with personalities.  His co-worker clearly understood – and related to – the manager’s personality better.

Leonard learned a great deal from his soft approach with his co-worker!  Her input was very valuable.  He discovered that several of his mannerisms were very off-putting to their manager, which essentially deemed him “not supervisor material” – and he had no idea about it whatsoever!

Some things he learned:

•     The manager frowns upon him taking more than one doughnut when breakfast is provided for employees.
•     When Leonard speaks to the manager at his desk, his eyes apparently wander behind the manager, as though he’s reading his computer screen, or emails.
•     Leonard has begun eating while dining out with clients before everyone has been served.

Leonard also heard a couple of tales about other former employees and their etiquette breaches that their manager found unforgiveable . . . even worse than his!  It would seem that his co-worker had been dubbed the one with the best manners, which was worthy of promotion.  He was astounded to learn this “secret code”!

When Leonard shared his new discovery with me, I added a possible habit of his that I had observed: fidgeting.  He frequently “played” with items, such as his pen, folder, cup, etc. while talking – and especially while listening.  I explained that this gives the impression that one isn’t actively listening, but bored, or hoping the speaker will soon finish.

He thanked me, and said he had decided against the job search, and would try to Fix It! at his current job instead, now that he had a new assignment – not to mention an ally.

Maxine* worked for a manager who was constantly demeaning and condescending, day in and day out.  It didn’t matter what projects or deadlines she was faced with – her manager was spiteful about nearly everything, and regardless of how well she did her job, Maxine’s boss never had a kind word to say about her performance.  There were just more demands placed upon her – and always in a loud, hateful tone.

This wore on her so much, frankly, she didn’t have the energy to begin another job search, so she began to calculate what it would do to her financial situation if she were to quit, period.  She had recently refinanced her home, and began taking other cost saving measures in her spending.

Maxine worked up a budget that showed her that she could leave her hellhole in nine months, if she continued her penny pinching ways, since she was not too terribly far from retirement anyway.  It would mean a few very lean years, but, frankly, it would be worth it not to endure the boss from hell.

She made up her mind to Forget It! in nine months, and marked her calendar.  This resolution was a great deal of peace of mind, in a way, and provided much needed strength that allowed her to endure more yelling and derision for the months ahead, knowing that the end was in sight.

Maxine decided that she would only give two weeks’ notice at the end.

About two months before her freedom, the boss came in and began launching into one of her particular tirades, when Maxine decided she’d had enough.

Maxine turned to her, staring straight into her eyes – something she rarely did – and said, “You know, it’s not appropriate for you to speak to me that way.”

Maxine was beyond startled when her manager backed down and replied, “Uh . . . you’re right.  I’m sorry.”

“I couldn’t believe it!” Maxine said.  “There was a complete change in her and the dynamics between us after that!  I’m not saying she became a saint, or anything, but it was tolerable working with her.  I had no idea that simply saying something like that would have changed things!”

Maxine ended up staying in her job until retirement after all, much to her surprise, and had a nest egg that was a bit bigger than she originally anticipated.

Do you have a Fix It or Forget It? story to share?  Send it to me, and it might help others.  Identifying features will be altered prior to publishing.

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
—  Rita Mae Brown

Similar Posts:

Winnie* and Alexandra* take a second look

Barney* and Courtney* endure micromanagers

Gloria* and Herman* notice problems in the office


Fix It Or Forget It?

Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

Even when the work, pay and/or location are desirable, the other conditions may not be.  When co-workers and their policies end up making your job more difficult, do you Fix It Or Forget It? See what Aidan* and Bridget* did.

Aidan* worked at a position that wasn’t his dream job, but it was reasonably good pay, challenging enough work and the people were nice to be around.  In this economy, he considered himself pretty lucky – particularly because the company was doing well.  He had been working there for a couple of years, and was planning to stay for the foreseeable future.

Early last year, though, someone new joined the staff in an adjacent department.  Although Aidan only worked with him peripherally, a great deal seemed to change.  Aidan’s manager gave significant control to this new supervisor, whose biggest contribution appeared to be bottleneck and gatekeeper.

Since this supervisor’s arrival, practically no projects moved forward without his stamp of approval.  This alone was frustrating enough, but he also showed favoritism – a game that Aidan was loathe to participate in.  Several others learned the “new rules” and played them better, leaving Aidan’s projects often at the end of the line.

Later, one of Aidan’s co-workers from another department was leaving the company, and he decided to have a farewell lunch with her – not only to say goodbye, but also to get some pointers on how to work better with this new manager.  She seemed to have gotten along with him better than anyone else.

During lunch, Aidan was shocked to learn that his friend had nothing but negative things to say about the supervisor, and considered him not only to be a hateful person, but the primary reason she decided to leave the company and start looking for another  job in the first place!

“I suppose the news could have depressed me,” Aidan explained, “But in truth, I was relieved.  It helped me see that the ‘attitude problem’ wasn’t mine, but his.  He offended even the most positive person in the office!”

Although Aidan had been considering starting a job search due to this manager, after learning this news, he decided to Fix It! by staying put.  He realized that he may as well keep doing the same good job that he always had been – and tracking his results diligently, for evaluation time.  Why look elsewhere or continue worrying about someone who clearly bothers everyone?

Bridget* worked in accounting at a health club and enjoyed the added benefit of staying in shape for free.  Last spring, she had to take time off for surgery, when she broke her foot, and, although it healed, there were some complications, and she isn’t able to do all the athletic things that she could do before, such as rock climbing, etc.

Bridget noticed that after her time out of the office – and returning while walking with a cast and crutches – people treated her differently.  The other staff members engaged with her less in general, as well as joining her at lunch, and so forth.

“At first, I thought that it was their way of letting me get back into my routine,” Bridget explained, “Or, simply that I didn’t see people as much, since I took the elevator instead of the stairs, etc., but then I noticed several other incidents.”

Bridget was passed over for consideration on work committees that she used to be automatically signed up for, such as an annual competition between their club and other health clubs.  Working this event was practically mandatory for all permanent employees each year.

“Although I might not be able to compete as I once did,” Bridget conceded, “I would still like to attend.  I can also work the event – selling tickets, working registration, etc.  They didn’t give me a chance . . . just retired me like some old injured work horse they decided to shoot.  Perhaps I was too shameful to be seen on their team, since I still limp.  I don’t know.”

Being so ignored and excluded in this institution that clearly worshipped athletic prowess above all else led Bridget to decide to Forget It! and she began looking for another job – in a place that would value her for the skills that she was hired to do instead.

Do you have a Fix It or Forget It? story to share?  Send it to me, and it might help others.  Identifying features will be altered prior to publishing.
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
—  Rita Mae Brown

Similar Posts:

Maude* and Niles* have trouble in the workplace

Paul* is Only Known For His Coffee

Duane* was Dubbed the Office Killjoy

Fix It Or Forget It?

Wednesday, October 31st, 2012

The economy has made the job market so difficult, that many have taken positions they otherwise wouldn’t, and stayed longer in situations they previously would have deemed “intolerable.” Yetta* and Zeke* share their stories.

Yetta* couldn’t find anything in her chosen field after being laid off, so until something came along, she got a job working in a family style chain restaurant.  It wasn’t ideal, but it was a job, and she had quite a few hours, and the manager seemed to like her.

Interviews were few and far between, and Yetta was able to switch shifts when she needed to as interviews came up.  It seemed to be the best stop gap measure in the meantime, and it paid more than unemployment, which wasn’t going to last forever, anyway.

One afternoon, a man in a suit, carrying a portfolio, came up to the counter and asked for the manager.  Yetta went to get him from the back, and continued cleaning in the back, preparing for dinner rush.

Yetta figured that he was selling something: restaurant equipment or perhaps some line of food that the restaurant stocked, since vendors often came during the slow times of day when there were few customers.

Shortly after, the manager returned to the kitchen.  He had obviously turned the salesperson away – or so she thought.

When Yetta asked him about it, he told her that he was looking for a job, not selling something.

“But I thought you were looking to hire a couple more people,” Yetta replied, somewhat puzzled.

“Yes,” the manager responded, “But not one of them.  They aren’t good workers.”

Yetta was stunned to realize that the manager meant he wouldn’t even consider hiring an African-American applicant, and even more shocked that someone would blatantly say so.

The manager went on, elaborating about how unreliable “they” are, with a story of some past worker whose car broke down frequently, etc., etc.

“I’m not sure what I said, because I was so shocked,” Yetta recounted.  “I think that mostly, I just listened.  I wish I could have afforded to quit that night, but, of course, I couldn’t.  I started wondering if he liked me for my hard work, or simply because I was a white employee!”

Yetta made a point to be “busy” at work and have little time to chat after that encounter with the manager.  If she didn’t have work to do, she had a book to read, a call to make, or something else to do – but no time to talk with him!

Several more (long!) months passed, and she finally got a job offer in her field, and accepted it.

“I didn’t tell anyone about my boss for a few months, and when I finally did, a friend gave me some good advice: Report him to the EEOC!”  Yetta said.  “I had felt so bad for that young man who came into our restaurant that day.  Here I had been job hunting, too – just like him – and he was told that there was no job available, which was a lie!”

Before she turned in her two weeks’ notice at the restaurant, Yetta decided to Fix It! by notifying the EEOC with details on what her manager had done – and said – about refusing to hire African Americans.

“Now, we know he’ll have a vacancy to fill!” Yetta said.

Zeke* had been looking a while, when he got an offer, then made a counter-offer for the position he wanted.  After a series of shrewd negotiations, he and his new employer arrived at final terms.  His new Vice President even complimented him on his negotiation tactics.

It was clear that the employer hadn’t planned on ending with the terms as they did, but Zeke’s response was that he will work that hard when negotiating on behalf of the company in his new sales position.  His Vice President seemed pleased with this perspective.

At Zeke’s company, all positions are contracted on an annual basis and subject to renewal.  Although Zeke’s sales had been doing quite well in his first year, some of his co-workers were average or below average, falling victim to the tough economic times.

He watched one co-worker not get her contract renewed, shortly before his was due, and became somewhat nervous.  Although his sales were good, he and the Regional Manager didn’t always see eye to eye.  The Regional Manager seemed more interested in finding details to complain about, instead of noticing that Zeke’s overall sales were up.

When it came time to discuss Zeke’s contract renewal, his Regional Manager informed him that, while his contract was being renewed, it was going to be for less base pay – far less!  His quotas were being set higher, and if he exceeded those, his commissions could compensate.

“And the reason I was given for paying me less?”  Zeke was incensed.  “I was told that a new Marketing Assistant was being hired, and the company hadn’t budgeted for it, so they needed the funds!  How pathetic is that?!  What really happened was they looked for some excuse to pay me what they wanted to in the first place!”

In addition, Zeke’s office was taken away, and it was explained that since he was “on the road,” he could share with another sales rep, while the Marketing Department would be using his office.

“So, on the one hand, my commission bar has to be set higher, because I’m so successful, but on the other hand, I deserve a smaller office?” Zeke asked.  “I don’t think so!  I can see the writing on the wall.”

Zeke looked upon this as “one year’s notice,” and decided to Forget It!  He began looking for another job immediately.  Obviously, the Vice President and/or the Regional Manager didn’t really view Zeke’s salary negotiation tactics as a demonstration of what good he’d do for the company, but instead, decided to punish him for it – all the while, taking advantage of whatever sales talent they can get.

It didn’t take the full year, but within about eight months, Zeke had found a position with a company that truly appreciated his talents, instead of pretending to.

Do you have a Fix It or Forget It? story to share?  Send it to me, and it might help others.  Identifying features will be altered prior to publishing.
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
—  Rita Mae Brown

Similar Posts:

Olive’s* boss tells her she’ll hire a man for the job

Orson* finds out his initial salary offer has been altered

Vicki’s* religion is insulted in the workplace

Fix It Or Forget It?

Wednesday, October 17th, 2012

Job hunting is an uphill climb already, but there are times during the process when the odds truly seem stacked against you. When this happens, it can be very tempting to throw in the towel. See what Tina* and Ulysses* did.

When Tina* approached me about beginning her job search, she was wary and explained that she didn’t like the process of looking for a job.  This wasn’t so unusual, and I tried to discover which part she found difficult:  Crafting her resume?  The interview?  Selecting positions to apply for?  Getting her to respond to my questions turned out to be the hard part, and took more investigation than usual.

It turned out that what was really the most difficult part of job interviewing for Tina was dealing with her sister throughout the process.  Whenever she had decided in the past to conduct a job search, Tina found that her sister’s remarks were so negative, critical and hurtful, that she ended up taking the first thing she could – simply to be done with everything.

“This time,” Tina explained, “I’d like to take the best offer – not the first offer.  But I’m not sure how I can hold out, with my sister’s constant criticism.”

Although my first suggestion was that Tina simply not tell her sister that she was conducting a job search at all, this wasn’t feasible, since she would probably need to ask for her help with babysitting during some interviews.  However, we did decide to delay mentioning the job search until at least the first interview, and downplay everything as much as possible.

In the past, Tina would share her excitement – and disappointment – each time.  This time, her sister wouldn’t have the opportunity to elaborate on anything.

When Tina’s sister finally became aware that she was interviewing and began engaging in her familiar patterns, asking for details, Tina responded as we had rehearsed, by providing very minimal details, with as little description as possible:  “Oh, it’s hard to say.”  “We’ll see.”  “You never know.”  “I’m just going to give it a try.”

When prodding her for further information didn’t work, Tina’s sister attempted to provoke her, as she expected: “Well, when you’re ready to hear the truth, you let me know!”

Tina was prepared this time, and refused to engage in these battles, keeping her eye on the ball.  “Uh, huh.  Gotta go now.  Talk to you later.”

Spending more time and energy on her job search – and less effort fighting with her sister – allowed Tina to select the right job, as she wanted, and not merely the first job that came along.  It took nearly a year, but she is much happier not only with how she was able to Fix It! with her new position, but also in how she now stands up to her sister.

Ulysses* had gotten an interview with an organization he would be pleased to work for in a neighboring city.  He was also impressed, because, although it was a nonprofit, they had offered to pay for his travel expenses.  He hadn’t seen this offer made before at the middle management level, merely for interviews, and figured it was a designation of professionalism that marked this organization as being special.

The first interview went well, as Ulysses met with a couple of people on the development staff.  In addition to the typical interview questions, they asked him specific questions about how he would conduct campaigns for the organization, and handed him their latest direct mail piece, wanting to know his specific opinions about it.

Ulysses, eager to impress his potential employer with his skills, rattled off a variety of items that were good, as well as several that could be improved, and noticed that the assistant director was taking notes furiously.

Later, he was called back for a second interview, which included meeting several more staff members.  Ulysses was pleased that his previous performance put him into the final cut, and planned on showing more of his talents, in the hope of being selected as their newest staff member.

His final meeting of the day was with the Director of Development, who made a point of sharing with him some very specific (and “proprietary”) budget figures, and asking him to strategize – given that “this is our current situation,” where they should focus their efforts next.

Ulysses was quite excited, thinking that surely he was going to be hired, because this type of information was not really something to be shared with a candidate, but really with an internal employee!  If the director is seeking his expertise, he must have already decided to hire him!

Ulysses responded to the question about where the next campaign strategy should focus, as well as some other thoughts, and then finished the rest of the interview.  He went home feeling quite good.

Then a week passed.  Then another week passed – and no word from the organization came.  At all.

Finally, the HR Director contacted Ulysses and told him that the Director of Development had done some “further research” on him and concluded that he really wasn’t “at the level” of fundraising that they needed, and that they were going to open up their search once again.

Adding insult to injury, she said, “So, you don’t need to apply.”

Ulysses felt very deceived!

“For one thing,” he said, “I don’t know what ‘further research’ they’re talking about, because he didn’t speak to any of my references.  They would have told me.  For another, the Director knew ‘at what level’ of funds I’d raised before I had my first interview from my resume, so that wasn’t a surprise.”

Ulysses suspected that there was no job at all, and that the organization was merely “interviewing” candidates for free consulting services.  He particularly believed this because his set of interviews was the second round of interviews.

“I don’t think the HR Director realized that I knew they had already ‘opened up the search again.’” Ulysses told me.

Looking back, Ulysses postulates that their “travel reimbursement” was merely a type of protection, should anyone figure out that they are engaging in this type of behavior, so they can technically say that they are “paying people” for their time.

Although he knows he can Forget It! with respect to this job, Ulysses is carefully considering how to position his expertise for future interviews.  On the one hand, he wants to demonstrate how knowledgeable he is; on the other, it’s a fine line that needs to be walked.  He won’t make the same mistake of giving away everything during the interview again.

Do you have a Fix It or Forget It? story to share?  Send it to me, and it might help others.  Identifying features will be altered prior to publishing.

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
—  Rita Mae Brown

Similar Posts:

Leslie* and Kirk* have different interview difficulties

Noah* and Odelia* learn the power of networking

Blanche* and Arthur* face discrimination

Fix It Or Forget It?

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012

Having a close relationship with others in the workplace is something that most people hope for when they take a new job; however, that can be turn into too much of a “good thing,” as Rachel* and Stephanie* each discovered.

Rachel* soon found out that the job she got was in a terribly dysfunctional place, much to her dismay, but she had decided to stick with it for a variety of reasons.  First of all, she had been without a job for nearly a year when she got hired, so she wasn’t eager to begin another job search.  It was very draining – both emotionally, and on her finances – to be out of work for so long.

Rachel was the sole breadwinner for her family since her husband had been injured on the job a few years ago and was home on disability.  Because her new job had health benefits that covered her children, she had resolved to keep it, regardless of how crazy the people became.

“I just told myself – nearly every day – that I wasn’t there to build a career, but to build up my family,” she recounted.  “And, I tried to avoid the really hateful people as much as possible.”

Rachel was pleased to find one woman who also realized what a defective environment they were working in, and they became friends.

“I was glad to have someone to eat lunch with, or simply empathize with at the latest insane directive to be announced,” she said.  “She was an oasis in a desert of hostility and incompetence.”

Over time, though, Rachel began to notice that all of their conversations centered around what some manager or co-worker had perpetrated, or who was the stupidest, meanest, etc. person of the day.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Rachel clarified.  “It really is a terrible atmosphere, and incredibly dysfunctional. I think I’d have lost my mind if I didn’t have my one friend to bolster my spirits, while the whole world seemed to be crashing in, almost on a daily basis.”

On the other hand, Rachel felt as though a friendship needed to be about something beyond shared misery.  They didn’t talk about anything else it seemed, such as movies, sports, news – nothing.

I suggested that Rachel start asking her about her kids, husband, what she did over the weekend, etc.

This proved to be difficult at first, because it was clear that their mode of communication had fallen into habitual complaining.  Rachel noticed this was the case, since even her friend’s starter conversations would begin with her children’s problems, or what was wrong with her husband’s workplace, etc.

They would have to talk for a while, until something positive came up, then Rachel would ask her to elaborate on that item – then she’d ask for an update the next day, or later that week.  It took a concerted effort on  Rachel’s part to Fix It! and get them out of the habit of defaulting to only discussing problems and complaining, as though nothing ever went right.

Eventually, Rachel was able to have less of a gloom and doom atmosphere – and more of a friend – in the work situation she chose to accept.

Stephanie* was pleased to get hired out of school into a small nonprofit where the Director of Development was willing to mentor her.  She and her Director were the only fundraisers on staff, and she realized that it would be a lot of work – and that she had a great deal to learn, but she was willing.

In the first two years, things went very well, she believed.  She learned a lot and became good friends with her director.  He took her under his wing and taught her many things.  Because it was just the two of them, he confided in her, and she made sure to keep his confidence and show her loyalty.

As a result, their organization was quite successful in substantially exceeding their goals.  The Executive Director was so pleased, she decided to hire an additional gift officer and development assistant, doubling the development staff.

Stephanie knew she had grown in the last two years, but it became much more apparent to her by how much when the new staff members arrived – and the director relied upon her to help train them, which she was happy to do.

Then, several problems began.

The Director of Development didn’t realize how much of the day to day operations had been handled by Stephanie . . . until she was explaining it to the new staff.  He began to second guess many of her instructions – in front of the new staff.

“I couldn’t figure out if he didn’t understand, didn’t agree, or was just intent on showing everyone who the boss really was,” she said.  “Either way, it was insulting.  How did he think we surpassed our goals?”

Stephanie tried to speak to him alone, personally, and explain the need for doing the operations a certain way, etc., but discovered that their camaraderie and previous way of communicating on a more personal, intimate level had disappeared.

“Apparently,” Stephanie said, “We could only be ‘buddies’ when he was imparting wisdom to me, but it couldn’t possibly work the other way around!  I felt pretty stupid when I realized this!”

Although Stephanie was pleased for the time she had previously spent learning her trade, she decided that she had outgrown her organization – and her mentor – and that it was time to Forget It!  We began her job search, and within less than a year, she found a different job, so she could continue growing.

Do you have a Fix It or Forget It? story to share?  Send it to me, and it might help others.  Identifying features will be altered prior to publishing.

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
—  Rita Mae Brown

Similar Posts:

Idalee* and Janet* have difficulty socializing at work

Ursula* and Vivian* have bosses with unhealthy expectations

Maude* and Niles* assess their essentials on the job


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