It’s important to know the what and why about the company you’re interviewing with, but for your sanity, dig deeper. The more you can learn about an organization’s “personality,” the better. See what Orson* and Peggy * did.

Orson* interviewed for a sales rep position which would cover a several county area.  He was pleased with the salary he had negotiated, and learned that he would also be getting a company car to cover his territory.  This was in an area that was new to him, and moving expenses were included.  All in all, he was excited for his new challenge.

When his offer letter came, however, his excitement soon faded.  A provision had been inserted which said that he would be starting at 80% of his negotiated salary, on a 3 month probationary period!  This had never been discussed – not during any of his interviews, nor over the phone.

He called his manager for clarification, asking why this had been put in the offer letter.  Her only response was that it was “standard,” and she wouldn’t budge.

Orson had also met with his manager’s supervisor during the interview phase, so he then felt he had no recourse but to call the district manager.  It wasn’t the best way to start out a new job, he felt, but he had been offered his full salary, and told the district sales manager so.

The district manager agreed, and a new offer letter was sent to Orson, stating that he would start with the originally negotiated full starting salary!  Orson was proud that he had Fixed It! and signed the offer letter and returned it to his manager, hoping that there wouldn’t be repercussions.

Shortly after he began his new position, he asked his manager, “How do I take care of my moving expenses?  Does the company get billed, or do I get reimbursed?”

She responded, “Oh, you don’t get moving expenses.  Didn’t you read your offer letter?”

“I was so burned up!” Orson said.  “I actually called her boss again.”

This time, though, the district manager was less inclined to be supportive.  He asked, “Does this prevent you from taking the job?”

I said, “No,” Orson recalled, “But looking back, I wish I’d played hardball.”

Orson later learned that his territory had two reps before him in the past year, and his company’s sales reps for the entire state saw more than 100% turnover in one year!

“I, too, ended up leaving the position within the year,” Orson recounted.  “That organization was terribly unhealthy, and I wish I’d noticed the many, many warning bells that were going off around me!”

Peggy* had made it as a finalist for a job she felt would be a good step up in her career, and was interviewing with the woman who would be her supervisor, should she get the position.

Things had been going well, and Peggy began to ask some more direct questions about the history of the organization and specifically, the position itself, such as, “How long has this position been vacant?” and “Why did the last person leave?”

Typically, these answers are not only revealing about the position, but also about the person answering them, and whether or not they are forthcoming.  This is true especially if the previous staff person departed under difficult circumstances, such as getting fired.  Seeing how delicately (or not) a manger handles describing such a situation is very revealing.

On the other hand, if the organization promotes from within, it can be a good sign – and also a bonus to know that the staff member will be available to answer questions while learning a new job.

Peggy was relieved to learn that the answer was somewhat benign:  The former staff member left a month ago because she had a baby and decided to become a full time mother.

The director continued by saying what a loss it was to the organization when the staff member left, then added, “And it’s really so foolish of her, sabotaging her career like that!  I even offered to let her work part time, too!  What can she be thinking?”

Peggy was so startled, she didn’t know what to say.  It certainly seemed as though she was being given a directive that if she had children (or was planning to have them), she’d better not be considering staying home full time and leaving her job!

Before Peggy could think of what question to ask next, the director continued the conversation and changed the subject back to the job and organization, much to her relief.  Peggy finished the interview, all the while searching her memory, wondering if she had dropped any references to her family situation during the interview.

A couple of weeks later, Peggy got the job offer, but politely declined, saying she had accepted another offer (she hadn’t).  She decided to Forget It! and not work for someone who so obviously declared that she knew what was right for everyone else’s situation.

Do you have a Fix It or Forget It? story to share?  Send it to me, and it might help others.  Identifying features will be altered prior to publishing.

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Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
—  Rita Mae Brown

What if you realize you’re basically on your own at work?  Should you Fix It Or Forget It?  See what Paul* and Robin* did.

Shortly after Paul* started his new job, he made a change at his office.  It didn’t seem like a big change to him, but it turned out to be pretty big to others, he realized.

Paul grew up in a family of coffee drinkers, and his sister owns and manages a gourmet coffee shop.  One of the first things that he noticed was the poor quality of the coffee in the office kitchen at work.  Since he has access to free gourmet coffee via his sister, Paul brought in enough packets of really fine coffee to drink during work hours as well.

(“I really couldn’t handle the sludge at the office,” he confessed.)

He didn’t anticipate the incredible reaction, however.  People who hadn’t noticed “the new guy” now sat up and nearly applauded!  In fact, staff members from the kitchen at the other end of the floor, not to mention other floors in the building came to Paul’s floor to get their coffee!

“I was an overnight sensation!” he chuckled, remembering his instant popularity.

Eventually, of course, Paul’s “fame” fizzled, and he was expected to work at his job – which he did.  Not only did he feel that he was good at it, but he volunteered for additional duties, such as heading up the staff retreat committee, and other assignments.  He had positive reviews from his superiors, and felt that this position – and place of employment – was going quite well in general.

Then, something (seemingly) unrelated happened.  His sister’s business took a turn for the worse, and her very livelihood was threatened.

Paul’s family is very close-knit and private, so family or economic problems are not something that he would openly share with others; still, he clearly could not hide the fact that he would no longer be providing everyone with free gourmet coffee, and they would wonder why, after it was available for nearly two years.

Paul decided to take the blame himself, rather than implicate his sister in any way.  Her shop was quite far from the office, and although he saw her regularly, he decided his best reasons to give at the office regarding “no more coffee” should be that he couldn’t make such far, regular trips to her shop with his aging car, as well as his demanding work schedule, etc.

“Just as I was unprepared for the love I got for bringing the coffee, I was equally stunned at the hostility – both outright and laden – when the coffee stopped,” Paul told me.  “It was astonishing!”

Most people weren’t blatant enough to come right out and complain (although some did), but Paul noticed that he wasn’t greeted in the hall as often, asked to serve on anymore committees, and generally bypassed for nearly everything.  “My opinion no longer seemed to matter for, well, anything.  I suddenly became a pariah.”

After a couple of months of this reaction, Paul felt as though all the work he had accomplished had been virtually invisible, and nobody ever saw him as anything more than coffee supplier.  Now that this title was gone, he could see that it was time to Forget It! and we worked on finding him a new position immediately.

Robin* worked in a department with several others, and a mostly absent, hands-off manager.  While there are many good aspects to having a manager who doesn’t overly-supervise the staff, there were times that Robin did wish he would step in and take some control once in a while.

Too often, one staff member in particular seemed bent on spinning the whole staff out of control, so that it made getting something productive done nearly impossible.

“I’m not opposed to some chit-chat and people getting along, talking about how their evening or weekend went, but this one staff member in particular just goes too far, in my opinion!”  Robin explained.  “Once she gets going, it’s as though she can’t stop – or doesn’t want to!  She tells way too many details about her personal life, and it’s just inappropriate for the workplace.”

Sometimes, other staff members would participate in her discussions of very intimate information – or just listen as she blathered on – Robin explained, but either way, it took up a significant amount of the workday, not only for the participants, but since this all happened in an open (cubicle) workspace, even not participating made it hard for people to ignore and concentrate, once she started.

Robin didn’t really want to leave her job, but she was at a loss as to how to gain control of a situation that her boss clearly didn’t care about – and she didn’t want to be at the mercy of this daily “soap opera,” either.

“When this one person is absent, the entire office atmosphere is totally different.  I’ve noticed.  I’m not interested in getting her fired, or anything, so what do I do?”

We discussed that most likely, what keeps this person going is the attention, and I suggested that Robin take note of how long she yammers on at various times.  I suspected that the more others participate in the conversation, the more details she’d have to contribute, versus times when people only listen . . . or don’t pay any attention at all.

Obviously, if nobody paid attention, she’d most likely stop altogether, but setting up such a conspiracy was a very remote possibility, so the next likely option was to “steal” attention away from her, so to speak.  This involved Robin having to increase her participation level of the conversations, bit by bit – and attempt to upstage the attention seeker, over time.

Since Robin wasn’t interested in sharing her personal life traumas, as this woman did, I recommended that she simply insert remote third parties, such as, “my college roommate,” or “someone on television” etc.

Over time, as the gossip started in, telling of her latest saga, Robin would swoop in immediately, responding with, “Oh, yeah, that’s like my cousin, except he . . . (more outlandish version, said in somewhat diminutive tone) . . .”

Sometimes, one or two people would then ask Robin for more details about her “cousin,” but she would downplay the whole incident, wrapping up the discussion with one or two word responses, thereby killing the entire topic of discussion.  After several rounds of this, the gossip ended up sharing her juiciest tidbits during lunch breaks – more privately – with her favorite individual audiences . . . deliberately out of earshot of Robin!

“That was just fine with me,” Robin laughed.  “If she needs to tell tall tales and they want to hear them, let them do it – I just don’t want it blathering all over my workspace!  This was the best Fix It! for all concerned, I’d say.”

Do you have a Fix It or Forget It? story to share?  Send it to me, and it might help others.  Identifying features will be altered prior to publishing.
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Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
—  Rita Mae Brown

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April* and Benjamin* have Out of Touch Managers

Opal* and Peter* Don’t Get What They Need

Nell* and Otis* Realize How Costly Office Politics Can Be

Culturally, women are conditioned to be agreeable and cooperative. That, combined with those who feel the need to help a part of society, yields an abundance of women in nonprofit with a calling to serve in a congenial way.

While this is certainly good for society, it’s not always good for the agreeable – and often, non-confrontational – women, particularly when it comes to their careers.  Often, all the traits that make such women the ideal candidate to work in the nonprofit arena actually work against them when it comes time to lobby on their own behalf.  They frequently learn – too late – that they have been passed over for promotions, raises, or generally left out of conversations that they should have been consulted on.

It has become more important now than ever before, with such a competitive job market, that women speak up and speak out at every opportunity – whether currently employed, or actively job hunting – so that their voices and ideas are heard by management and others on a regular basis.

Bonnie* had discussed her current work situation, where she felt that the director had used the economy as an excuse to whittle down everyone’s position essentially to being his serfs.  Bit by bit over the last couple of years, he had made everyone feel that if they didn’t comply with his latest “cost cutting” idea, they might be next on the chopping block.  This included petty things, such as his removing the office refrigerator and microwave, to “save electricity.”  (Bonnie did notice that, although all of the women in the office now had to modify the types of lunches they brought to eat, the director still managed to treat himself to eating lunch out on a daily basis.)

When Bonnie decided to Forget It! we worked on finding her another position, but kept in mind the dynamics which led to the situation she ultimately found herself in.  She wanted to make certain to define what type of treatment she would – and would not – tolerate right from the beginning.  I explained to her that a great many parameters are set in the first few weeks of employment, when you make your first impression.  Her boss and the other employees would see what they could expect from her during this initial phase.

While it’s important to be eager to learn and get along with others, of course, you still don’t want to project yourself as a doormat, either.  If, for example, Bonnie had given the idea that she would be willing to do everyone’s filing (whether it was her job or not), all those on staff would immediately be thrilled to have her do it for them . . . and anything else they could delegate to her.

When Bonnie began her new position, she had difficulty getting her business cards printed in the first couple of weeks.  The position that usually handles the task was vacant, and the procedure in his absence was arduous.  She learned that the last person who went through the procedure not only waited a long time, but her cards weren’t right.

Bonnie decided this would be one way to define herself.  She took action and had her own cards printed and simply submitted the receipt afterward.  Her director was surprised at first, but then she explained why, and he signed the expense report.  Bonnie was pleased with her first step toward defining her new self as someone who wouldn’t sit around and wait for second best.

Caitlin* defines herself as a “very shy person,” but came to me for assistance, because she felt that she was “invisible” in her organization.   She wanted to work on her networking and socialization skills, but didn’t know where to begin.

“I don’t feel as though I can just barge in on the already established social groups at the office and ask to join them for lunch,” Caitlin says.  “They’ve been having lunch together for a couple of years now.  Nobody has ever invited me along.  It’s like they don’t see me, even though I’m right there.”

Since Caitlin didn’t feel comfortable encroaching upon what she already felt was “established territory,” I suggested we Fix It! by trying some new territory, and had her join a local chapter of her professional society.  Not only was it good to work on her skills with a new group of people, but, I explained, it’s always best to extend your professional group beyond your immediate workplace, anyway.

One excellent way for someone shy to mingle at professional functions is for them to volunteer to work the function, and Caitlin signed up to help at a few upcoming events.  This provides several benefits.  Not only did she get the lay of the land beforehand and feel more at ease, but if she ever felt awkward at any time while talking, she could always excuse herself, since she had “something to do,” because she was working the event.

In addition, the leaders of the professional society got to know Caitlin in an informal setting and became appreciative of her hard work.  I had given her advice on several talking points to make about herself, as well as targeted questions to ask of others when chatting at these events, and it was working well.

After Caitlin had worked at several of these events and was becoming more comfortable speaking with people she’d recently met, I had planned on having her apply these techniques back at her workplace, so she wouldn’t feel as isolated.  It turned out, though, that it became unnecessary.  Caitlin made several good contacts with her new networking friends, and one of them offered her a better job, which she accepted!

Now, Caitlin works in an atmosphere that is more inviting, and she no longer feels “invisible.”  She also makes a point to participate more actively, to ensure that she’s seen, too.

Do you have a Fix It or Forget It? story to share?  Send it to me, and it might help others.  Identifying features will be altered prior to publishing.

___________________________________________________________________________________
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
—  Rita Mae Brown

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